Down The Rabbit Hole, I keep Digging

Down the Rabbit Hole, I Keep Digging

The ground is shaky, unstable,
And still, I keep sinking.
It’s dark, lonely and physically straining.

When will I reach the bottom of the hole?
I’m yet to know.
And that’s emotionally draining.


I move between darkness and light,
Through phases and passages the mouth cannot utter.
With convictions unwavering.

I have gone from empathy to apathy.
Yet somehow,
The heart is still breaking.

Friends speak of hope and faith,
of unseen hands that could stop the digging.
I laugh, then retreat.
While the bonds between us keep thinning.

I blame the distance for my being distant.
But across the widening gullies,
Their voices keep calling.
But some bonds have stretched beyond mending.
And still, the heart is breaking.

I have been down this rabbit hole before

I have been digging for survival,
Digging for hope.
And now, I’m digging for a way out.

As the days go by, so does my age.
“September to remember," I keep saying
Another birthday passes
I keep ageing
And yet another unfulfilled promise keeps waiting.

33 is “The crown year,” they keep saying,
while they keep the candles burning.
But the celebrations cannot keep my heart from wandering
or my mood from swaying.

“How far down must I go?” I keep questioning.
As wild accusations keep flying,
and bridges within the family keep burning.

The truth someday will come out, Mum keeps saying
But no one can tell me where this is leading
Or when the ground beneath us began caving in.

And yet,
down the rabbit hole,
I keep digging.